Scars
by mmolinari
Summary: Summary: Very Lizzington, basically a story where Red shows Liz all of his scars (all with different stories). There will be some angst, lots of fluff, and a little humor depending on the story. This starts after 2-8, very little spoilers for everything after.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: The Promise**

 **AN: I own nothing.**

Liz felt woozy. Her head hurt and she seemed to be incapable of forming the simplest of thoughts. There was a dull ache in her arm, but she felt almost disconnected from it, as if the pain belonged to someone else. She squinted up at the florescent lights, then decided it was too much effort and closed her eyes again. The darkness was much better.

She drifted into a kind of paralyzed state, somewhere between sleep and waking, the drugs numbing her system. Sensing his entrance, she stiffened at first, but then his cool voice washed over her.

"Lizzie." It rumbled out of his chest and Liz immediately relaxed. She forced her eyes open to slits and took him in, his pale green eyes fixed on her, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Red," she mumbled sleepily, her drooping eyes struggling to stay open. The morphine was telling her to sleep, but she wanted to stay awake for him.

He smiled, a soft look taking over his expressions. He ran a hand gently through Liz's hair, taking care to avoid the knots in the mess. Liz was certain she looked like hell, but Red looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

"How do you feel?" His fingers continued to run through her hair, and Liz closed her eyes to the feeling.

"Like…" Liz hesitated as her mind struggled to find the right word, "Like sleep." That was not right but she was too tired to care.

He let out a low chuckle, and Liz's eyes popped open fascinated by the sound. She pressed her hand against his chest, he watched her with an amused expression on his face.

She frowned, "Laugh again." He did and Liz could feel the vibrations run through her fingers.

"You have a nice laugh," she told him, letting her hand drop.

"What did they put you on?" he asked her, his amusement growing by the second. He had never seen Liz not fully in control of her actions, and he had to admit it was adorable.

"Oh, you know…" Her eyes wondered up his sleeveless arms, taking in the curves of his biceps. Suddenly something caught her eye. "What's that?" she exclaimed, pulling his left arm towards her.

He didn't resist, happy to see how this would play out. She traced a small, pale, faded scar running up the length of his forearm.

"A scar..." he answered, not really sure where she was going with this.

"How did you get it?" Her piercing blue eyes met his, filled with curiosity.

She continued to trace the scar gently with a finger as Red spoke. "That scar was from a while ago, I believe it was '97, no '98. I was in a business meeting in Paris with an old acquaintance who I hadn't seen in a very long time. He had been off the grid for a few years, and suddenly he asked to meet me to get some advice on reentering the criminal world."

"He was a relatively moral man for a criminal back when I knew him, so I agreed. His name was Jacob West. Poor Jacob had gone completely insane while I had been gone, developing some kind of mental disorder that triggered violence. He had just escaped from a mental institution when he called me. Of course, I did not know that so I met with the man, alone, in a private conference room."

"We talked for two minutes and then he came after me with a knife. It was a little unexpected, so he managed to cut my arm, but I disarmed him quickly. I believe he's still in that mental institution, under a little extra security after that whole incident. I send him Christmas cards each year, I haven't the slightest whether they reach him or not." Red shook his head with the ghost of a smile on his lips, trying to not be distracted by Liz's touch.

She looked up at him, her eyes even wider, "How many scars do you have?"

"Twenty-four." He answered without hesitation.

Liz stifled a yawn and tiredly said, "You'll have to tell me about all of them one day." Her eyes slid shut and her hand dropped back to her side. Her breathing steadied soon after, her face peaceful in sleep.

Red ran a hand through her hair one last time, allowing himself the joy of taking in Liz's beauty.

"I will," he promised, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. He didn't leave her bedside for the rest of the night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Vacation Tales**

 **AN: Still own nothing. Also thanks so much for all the beautiful reviews I love you all and will now give you this chapter as a gift.**

Liz was astonished. Her mouth was hanging open and she was staring at him with eyes so wide that it produced a low chuckle from him. What surprised her wasn't the obvious- that he had somehow managed to find her here even though it was supposed to be a private vacation. In fact her mind barely took that in. Instead she was staring at his clothing; or rather his lack of clothing. Red was wearing shorts, actual shorts.

She recovered momentarily, struggling to find something to say to excuse her appalling behavior. Red was giving her an amused yet expectant look. "You're wearing shorts." The words were out of her mouth before she really thought about them. As soon as she heard them she wished she could just sink into the ground and disappear. God, out of all the things she could have possibly said in that moment, her brain decided to pick 'you're wearing shorts'. As if Red wasn't perfectly aware of what he was wearing

Red laughed, not a cruel laugh, but it made Liz blush all the same. He stopped when he saw her embarrassment and quickly changed the subject. "So you're not going to stab me for finding you here? I must say, I'm surprised, I expected a much more aggressive welcome. I left all my pens at home just in case."

"I wouldn't relax just yet," Liz muttered darkly under her breath, struggling to keep her eyes on his face.

Red chuckled deeply and walked closer, fairly certain that he was safe for the moment. He took in the small shadows under her eyes that she'd tried to cover up with makeup. So maybe it hadn't been as relaxing of a vacation as she had hoped.

He gestured around him, "I must say; I am a little surprised on your choice of destinations. It is quite lovely here, but out of all the places you could go, why here?" They were currently in Venture, California; a small hidden gem on the coast that remained uncrowded year round. Red had found Liz walking down one of the streets housing small beach shops.

She looked around, a distant look on her face. "My father used to take me here," she told him softly. Red stiffened up, expecting to see the pain on her face like he had seen every time she brought up Sam around him. He was surprised to find merely a wistful look on Liz's face, as if she wished she could go back to relive her childhood memories. There was no anger directed at Red this time.

Relief filled Red as he listened to her story; it seemed that Liz had finally forgiven him. It shocked him while filling him with such joy. He didn't deserve this, but he would willingly take Liz's forgiveness.

"We used to fly down here every summer and spend a week on the shore. Every day we would walk 3 blocks to the beach and spend all day playing in the waves. He would buy my ice cream and then we would walk home and spend the rest of the evening just the two of us, laughing and playing games." Liz smiled at the memory, "He used to love it here."

Red smiled back at her, letting her happiness spread to him. The men he'd had following her (purely for protection service, of course) reported that she hadn't fully relaxed since arriving here, constantly on edge and looking over her shoulder as if she was being tracked (which technically she was, but Red's people were too good for her to detect them). Now, Liz seemed totally relaxed and happier than she had been in months. The Tom incident had taken a lot from her, and Red was happy to see her back to normal again.

He suggested that they get some ice cream, his arm instinctively resting on her back as they walked down the quaint little street. They settled on a bench outside a cute shop, Liz with a cone full of chocolate ice cream. Red wasn't hungry, but he was happy to stay with Liz as she ate hers (maybe watching her a little too intently, not that she could tell through his shades).

They fell into easy conversation, Liz not once questioning his purpose here. She seemed content to have company, and Red would always stay with Liz for as long as she wanted him. Somehow they got back to the topic of the night in the hospital when Liz had been shot in the arm.

"You told me you'd tell me about all your scars."

Red gives her an unreadable look, "You remember that? You were pretty drugged up."

Liz nodded, smiling as she remembered him making that promise and then kissing her. He had kissed her on the forehead, but that was definitely progress in Liz's opinion. That night was still a little blurry in her mind, but she remembered that as clear as day.

"Why don't you start with that one?" Liz asked airily, pointing to a long scar on his fore leg. It hadn't faded fully to white, so Liz assumed that it was still fairly recent. Red smiled as he watched the ice cream drip down Liz's other arm. The mid-day heat was melting the ice cream at a faster rate than Liz could eat it.

"That was just a flesh wound," he said, waving his arm as if to emphasize on the non-importance of the entire incident.

"And?" Liz prompted, taking another lick of her ice cream that distracted Red a little.

He sighed, "This is a long story."

"I have nowhere to be." She stretched out to reiterate this point.

Red gave in, "That one happened a little over a year ago. I had already made contact with the FBI at that point, but you still didn't know many of my dealings."

Liz snorted, "We still don't."

Red chose to ignore that and continued on, "Dembe and I were on a business meeting in Peru. I had finished the transaction and when a sniper shot through the window. Thank God the wind was strong that day and threw of his shot (he wasn't a particularly good sniper) and hit me in the leg instead of my head. The whole meeting was a set up; they were planning on robbing me. Dembe and I took care of the mess. I stitched up my leg on the plane ride home; it was hardly worth any medical attention."

Liz seemed to forget about her ice cream during Red's story and a good deal of it was now dripping onto the bench. She was staring at Red with a horrified expression as if to say ' _you almost got yourself killed again?'_ Red ignored her pointed look and focused on the ice cream. He grabbed her arm and pulled the cone to his mouth, taking a generous lick, trying not to focus on the fact that Liz's mouth had been on it.

She pulled back, making a noise of protest, "Red!"

"What?" he asked her innocently, licking a drip of chocolate off his lips.

"I thought you weren't hungry!" she answered indignantly, eating more of her ice cream to Red's satisfaction (it was almost as if they are kissing, but not quite).

"I wasn't," he replied with a smug smile, pulling his fedora on and standing up.

Liz frowned, "You're leaving?"

"I wouldn't leave you for the world," Red said, his voice suddenly dropping an octave and going dead serious. Liz did her best to hide the goose bumps running down her arms as he met her gaze. She couldn't see his eyes through the shades, but she could certainly feel the tension.

Red smiled, breaking the moment. "I was just throwing away these," he told her with the air of lightness back in his voice, holding up some crumpled napkins. Liz watched him go, a small smile playing on her lips. Maybe this would be a good vacation after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Bored**

 **AN: Reviews bring my life. Thank you to anyone who read/reviewed this story! I own nothing.**

Liz had only been back in the post office for ten minutes and already she was struggling with boredom. Her vacation had been lovely, extra lovely with her unexpected guest. Red had stayed in her guest room for the 5 remaining days of her vacation and they'd had a great time together without the stress of tracking down blacklisters. Liz had expected him to leave on 'business', but he had stayed all five days and Liz found herself very grateful for his company.

But now that she was back she was more than ready to get back to work. She had needed a week to get her life back together and now that she was more or less recovered from Tom (or at least a lot better than before) she needed a case. Liz had never been one to enjoy idleness, always looking forward to throwing herself into the next action.

She tried to focus back on her computer, she needed to get this paperwork done- she had a pile of nearly fifteen cases that needed to be typed up. She couldn't even remember taking on that many cases. She rubbed her eyes and checked her phone for the fifth time this morning for a text from 'Nick's Pizza.' No luck. Liz sighed, of all the times she needed a break Red decided to pick this time to give her one.

She dozed off, her head falling at an uncomfortable angle against her computer.

Red frowned at his phone. He had called Liz five times, and she hadn't picked up. He didn't have a case for her yet; he just wanted to check in. She had seemed fine during their vacation (the highlight of Red's year), but he wasn't sure how she'd be after she returned to work. He was unsure why she wasn't picking up, she had definitely arrived at the post office safely this morning (his people had confirmed that) and it wasn't like she has any cases to work on.

"Dembe, it looks like we're going to have a change in destination." Dembe turned the car around, instantly knowing where Red wanted to go.

Red walked into the post office, shades on so he could take in the room without looking suspicious. Everything looked normal, agents bustling around with papers and typing furiously away at keyboards. The shades were down in Liz and Ressler's office.

Red started towards it and almost got run over by a busy Ressler. Ressler noticed him at the last second, looking up from a stack of files just in time. He still bumped into Red, causing him to wheel around and come face to face with the agent.

"What are you doing here?" Ressler asked him, his eyes slitted in suspicion (and a little long-held contempt).

"Hello to you too Donald!" Red responded cheerily, "How have you been?"

Ressler ignored him, "Keen is in her office." He stalked off, thankfully heading in a different direction then their shared office. Red reached her door and knocked twice. There was no response. He had never knocked before, so he decided he might as well just enter.

He opened the door, "Lizzie, I must say I'm offended…" He trailed off when he saw Liz. She was scrunched over, her body awkwardly stretched out on the desk in front of her, the keyboard pressing into her face. Her pony tail was falling out and strands of hair were covering her face. Every few seconds she let out an adorable little snort that Red had learned was her way of snoring back at the beach house.

He paused at the door, smiling at the scene in front of him. Had Liz not gotten enough sleep during their vacation? Red had slept soundly for the first time in weeks knowing that Liz was only a room over.

Liz stirred and opened her eyes sleepily. She nearly fell out of her chair when she saw Red, clearly startled.

Red laughed, "Good morning Lizzie."

She seemed to get her bearings. She stretched, Red noticing that her neck was stiff (probably from being at such an awkward angle while she slept).

"Do you have a case?" she asked him, unable to keep the hopefulness out of her voice.

"Eager are we? You've only been back for," he glanced at his watch, "an hour now."

"Red…"

"I'm sorry to report that I do not have a case, but you seem to have your hands full with those files." Liz gave the pile a murderous look.

"Then why are you here?"

Red decided to ignore her tone and answered cheerfully, "You weren't answering your phone. I was making sure your FBI hadn't let you get kidnapped."

"Well if you're here you might as well help me on these cases…. Red get back here!" Red reluctantly stopped his progress backing halfway out the door. "Sit."

Red pulled over Ressler's chair, already regretting coming here. Liz gave him a look that suggested if he didn't cooperate he would be in a world of hurt. "You haven't given one witness report yet."

"Well you see Lizzie, I've been busy running a criminal enterprise and trying to make up for the incompetency of this team so I really don't have time for…."

"Red!" Once she had deemed she had his attention Liz plopped a giant file down in front of him. "First case- Frederick Barnes."

Red stared at the pile of papers on the desk, looking decidedly unimpressed. "I could do this…Or I could tell you about one of my scars."

He could almost see the wheels turning in Liz's head. She let out an annoyed growl. "Fine, but it better be a good one or I'm making you do the case files anyway."

With a small, slightly smug laugh, Red pulled back the sleeve of his right arm. Liz gasped and he followed her gaze, regarding the light, jagged scar running down his vein. He had been meaning to show her another scar on his arm, he had forgotten about this one.

Liz looked slightly panicked and Red felt he had to explain. "I assure you Lizzie, I was never suicidal." This only seemed to increase her anxiety. Red sighed.

"The year was 2000. I was in a small village in South Africa, meeting with the leader who controlled a smuggling trade route through the region. I had gotten the attention of some… important individuals in the area a few weeks earlier. The trade leader had decided I was too much trouble to handle."

"One night while I was sleeping in the hut of a villager he crept into my room. He wanted to make it seem like a suicide attempt. He failed." Red shrugged nonchalantly. Liz did not seem to echo this feeling.

"How many assassinations attempts have you had?"

"Does that include ones I planned for political purposes?"

Liz shook her head. "Another time you nearly died does not count as a good story! Now get back to work."

Red looked at the file as if he had never seen such a thing before. "I'm sorry Lizzie, but I really must go. Who knows, maybe someone will get murdered and I'll have a case for you!"

Red bolted out with the yells of a very pissed off agent following him. He had narrowly escaped that one.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Forgiveness**

 **AN: Two chapters in one night! I must really love you guys. Hope you enjoy, I still own nada.**

It was a dark night. Outside a storm raged on, throwing torrential rain against the roof with a loud pitter patter. The clock had long ago ticked past midnight, but still Red sat in the armchair, staring unseeingly out the window, an untouched glass of scotch in his hand.

His head jerked up at a sudden noise at the door. Could that possibly be knocking? The noise sounded again and Red stood, pulling out his gun. His feet padded silently across the room and he peered through the peephole. Immediately he lowered his gun and opened the door.

"Lizzie! What brings you this way at such a fine time of night?"

She looked like hell- her hair was plastered down and dripping with cool water, her eyes were bloodshot and exhausted, and her makeup was smeared. She didn't even crack a smile, didn't say a word.

"Please, come in." Liz did and Red closed the door, taking a hidden second to compose himself. He knew all too well why she was here; he just hadn't expected her to come this late.

She hovered awkwardly over the couch, failing to hide her shivering. "Sit," Red said, gesturing to one of the chairs.

"I'm all wet."

"It will dry."

Liz sat and Red disappeared for a second. He reappeared with arms full of blankets. "I've had pneumonia before," he explained, dropping the pile unceremoniously on top of her, "It was not a pleasant experience." Red sat next to her, looking anywhere but at that the torn up women beside him.

For a while they sat there in the dark of Red's house, listening to the soothing sound of rain against the tiles. Then Liz spoke, her quiet voice just barely breaking through the noise of the storm. "I killed him."

Red inhaled sharply, "There was nothing else you could have done…"

"He had a life, kids, a family. Those kids are going to grow up without a father because of me, his wife is now a widow, and if I had just waited one more second for Ressler's orders then…" If Red heard the crack in Liz's voice he didn't mention it.

The noise of the storm once again filled the room. This time it was broken by Red. "A long time ago, maybe two decades, when I was just starting out in the business I was held captive for the first time. The lady who did it was insane- I had been set up to make her believe I had cheated her out of a transaction. She kept me for three long weeks, held up inside a tiny bunker."

"The only thing she did, for those three weeks, was talk to me. She told me about her kids, and her husband. Of course, I didn't find out until later that they were all dead, killed in a bombing in Milwaukee years before that. Never once did she say anything that suggested they were gone, she talked about their plans for the future as if they had never left her."

"Then on the last day, I could tell as soon as she had entered that something was different. Something in her had snapped. An associate had challenged her about her family, telling her that they were all dead. She killed the entire room, 13 people, with her bare hands."

"She still had their blood on her hands when she found me, I could smell the irony, salty tang to it and knew what it was. She chained me and dragged me into her house. When we entered the room I could see that she had a fire blazing. She dragged me right up to the flames, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating off of it."

"She had put a metal poker in the fire, was heating up the tip. By then she had broken down past the sense of reality, she was babbling nonsensically, she kept calling me Timmy, the name of her son."

"She ripped my shirt off and took the poker from the fire. Then she tried to burn me, right above the heart." Slowly Red began to unbutton his outer shirt, his vest having already been discarded. "Gunshots hurt, but they're nothing compared to burning. It hurt like a bitch."

The last button came undone, and he pulled back the shirt halfway, the white fabric still resting on his shoulders. Liz found herself unable to look away, her eyes glued to his chest covered in golden curls. He pushed them away and revealed a large discoloration on his chest, right above his heart.

Liz's fingers reached out without conscious thought from her. She gently touched the scar and felt Red shudder beneath her. His intense gaze was locked with hers, his eyes hidden in the dark. "Does it still hurt?" Liz whispered; so close to Red that her breath ghosted across his face.

"Not so much anymore. It's more the memory of the pain… of lying their pinned and helpless to the will of a madman."

"What happened to her?"

Red pulled back and Liz's hand withdrew. He began rebuttoning his shirt, his face a blank mask. "I pushed back. She lost her footing and fell into the flames. She never got back up." Liz could just make out the slight trembling in his voice.

She curled up deeper in her blankets. The last thing she heard before drifting off was his soft voice saying, "It wasn't your fault, Lizzie." She wasn't sure if he was saying it for her or for himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Nerves**

 **AN: I'm always a slut for reviews. Please enjoy and know that I own nothing!**

Liz was nervous. Her heeled foot tapped unbidden against the car floor, her hands were clenched into tight fists, her mind was wheeling over all of the possibilities. None of them were good.

"Please relax, Lizzie," a tuxedo clad Red said from beside her, "You're tapping is making me nervous."

Liz forced her foot to stop, her heart skipping a beat for a different reason when she turned to look at the man. "You are going to be fine. I won't let anything happen to you."

That was, in fact, exactly what Liz was worried about- that he'd put himself in danger for some stupid mistake she made and she would get them both killed. She had never liked undercover work, had never been trained it. She was supposed to be a profiler- someone who sat behind a desk poring over personal papers most of the day and on an off occasion got a chance to watch an interrogation. How to be the most wanted criminal's plus one had not been high on the curriculum.

Red smiled at her, knowing just how to cheer her up. "It was way back, still in the Navy days. I had just started out as an officer and was in charge of a group of rather misbehaved sailors. They had gone out to a local bar, I was told to watch over them- make sure they didn't get too drunk."

Liz seemed mesmerized by his words, her eyes stuck on his lips. Red hid his inner smirk and continued.

"I was still young and had little experience with hard liquor. By the time we all got to shot number 5 I was drunk out of my mind, the world was spinning. I was having a great time, and my men were all too happy to see their officer taken down by a few shots."

"Long story short, a fight started. I don't remember who threw the first punch- either me or the other guy. All I know is that I'm still a hell of a good fighter inebriated. I took down three guys before someone crashed a bottle on top of my head."

"I woke up with a hell of a hangover on the couch of my supervisory officer. The bastard had sewed my head up himself, shaving half of my hair off in the process," Red laughed. "The pain of that was nothing compared to the chewing off he gave me once I woke up. My head hurt for weeks afterwards."

With a barely concealed smirk Red discarded his fedora and tilted his head towards Liz. There was a long, straight scar running from the top of his head down the side, almost hitting his ear. Smaller lines ran around it.

When Red straightened up he expected to see Liz's worried look at another potentially fatal wound or her horror at his squad leader's treatment. Instead she was smirking at him, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Five shots, Red? That's all it took?"

Red's eyes narrowed. "I was in my early 20's at the time. I assure you I can handle much more than 5 now."

Liz just laughed. "I was doing ten shots at nineteen. One time Sam came home at shot eight and didn't notice a thing."

Red raised an eyebrow at her, "Are you insinuating that you can handle your alcohol better than me?"

Again that playful smirk appeared on her face. "Maybe. We'll have to test it out one day."

Red agreed and the car slowed to a stop. "Looks like we're here." He expected to see Liz's anxiety return when he walked around the car and opened the door for her. Instead she took his arm with a gracious smile, her blue eyes still bright with laughter. "You seem calm," he commented, leading her towards their destination.

"I have you," she said with a mysterious grin. "I'll be fine…. That is, as long as you don't have more than five shots."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: The Box**

 **AN: Sorry it's been so long. Life has kept me busy. Please enjoy, I own nothing.**

"Sweetheart, please calm down." The sweetheart in question was, in fact, nowhere near being calm. She paced back and forth at the edge of the box, anxiety rolling off of her in waves. Red sat in the metal chair, his arms folded, watching her and the dark Post Office beyond with a false sense of calm.

"How can I calm down?" Liz snapped at him, finally stopping her pacing to wheel around and fix her full icy glare onto him. "Ressler, Cooper, Meera… all of them are unaccounted for. We don't know who or how many made the breach or why they did it. We don't know…"

"No, we don't," Red cut her off. "But having an ulcer about it isn't going to help the situation. Please sit down, have a few deep breaths, maybe have a little bit of fun. It's not often you find yourself in the opportunity to be stuck in a box with the FBI's most wanted."

Liz perched on the edge of the seat in front of him; her shifty eyes darting repeatedly back to the darkness around them lit up only by the dim lights of the backup generator. Nothing moved in the shadows.

"Do you know who this could be?" Liz finally asked, forcing herself into a false sense of calm. She was fine, everything was fine, she was in a metal box that could resist the force of bombs, they were safe.

Red laughed; an odd noise in the dead quiet that had fallen over their surroundings. "The list is too long of people who want me dead. Although very few would have the resources to find and breach a compound such as this." Red looked thoughtful.

Liz growled, "That's not very helpful, Red." She looked like she was about to spring up and start pacing again, so Red decided to intervene.

"Did I ever tell you about the two months I spent in a Syrian prison?"

"Red now's not the time for another one of your ridiculous stories."

"This one's about a scar." That cut off all protests to Red's triumph.

"I was arrested in Syria for spying on the Syrian government… only half true but that's another story. I was taken to a prison, more of a hole in the ground really- somewhere were once people went in they never see the light of day again."

"I was in a cell with thirteen other people- not one of them spoke English but I thought we got along rather swimmingly. Then one day they added the fifteenth."

"I believe his name was Brutus, he was a hunk of a man- three hundred pounds of pure muscle and tattoos. Dear Brutus had been thrown in there for revealing a human smuggling ring run by his very own government. They killed his entire family. Brutus wanted revenge, and he knew enough stilted English to tell me so."

"The other men in our cell had been there for more than a year, one nearly a decade. They'd seen things- things they would never forget. They were really just shells of people, already past the point of saving. They were willing to try anything to get free."

"We formed a meticulous escape plan, taking into account every variable and factor. It took three weeks, but finally we were ready. Little did we know that an unplanned government inspection was to take place that day."

"We got out of our cell, killed the guards, and made our way outside the prison. We were only one hallway away from freedom when they found us. It was a bloodbath." Red's eyes were distant and he cracked a small, bitter smile. "Not one of them made it out but me. It was all luck on my part. They managed to graze me with a bullet in the side and thought I was dead. They piled us up to be burned right outside the gates. When they were looking the other way I got up and ran."

"While I was running away I could hear the yells of Brutus- the poor bastard had three bullets through the chest but he was still alive, screaming his head off for me to help him. They coated him in gasoline and burned him alive."

Red looked back at Liz, his dark eyes unreadable. "As soon as I recovered I found the officials who had taken his family from him. I killed all of them. Turns out they hadn't actually murdered his wife and kids- they had just said that to get in his head. They're still alive and well, I believe."

"Red…" Liz breathed out, but had nothing more to say, so they just sat there, looking into the darkness beyond the safety of the box. Waited for what was certain to come out, was certain to come for them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: I Sit Helpless…**

 **AN: This is a continuation of the last chapter, although you don't have to read that first to know what's going on. This chapter has a part two (thus the ...) which will be updated tomorrow night (don't worry, I won't leave you guys hanging:)). Just a note that this is AU after 2.8. Thank you for all your reviews, they give me life. I own nothing.**

It had been three days. Three days since Liz had heard from Red. Three days since he had come out of the box to save her, had given his life to a madman for her. And Liz was at her wits end.

She lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, her phone lying beside her on the pillow. It had also been three days since she had last slept. It was four in the morning and all Liz could do was lay there, motionless, praying for the phone to light up with one number.

Her hands were trembling, her ears were ringing, and everything hurt. She knew it wouldn't be long now before she started getting hallucinations from sleep deprivation. Suddenly she heard a familiar ringing noise. She sat up, her heart beating wildly in her chest. But the phone was dark. She took a deep breath, letting her heart slow down.

She forced herself back down, choking back the fear that she was hearing things. It had been too long, far too long since Red had called her. He could be dead by now, or maybe be dying alone in an alley somewhere in pain and helpless…

Liz forcefully pushed away the images. Standing on shaky feet, she walked towards her bathroom. She couldn't remember the last time she had showered- probably three days considering she hadn't left her phone in that long.

She placed said phone on the toilet where it could be easily be reached from the shower. The faucet turned on and the water slowly warmed. When it was so hot that her skin felt slightly scorched and steam rose from the tiled floor, Liz slipped in, letting the hot water wash away layers of grime and dried blood. Ressler's blood.

At least he was still alive, but just barely, and who knows for how long. She was losing everyone around her, it was like Tom all over again, it wouldn't be long before she was alone. No, a voice in her head forcefully told her, Red would never leave you alone.

It avoided the fact that Red likely no longer had a choice. Even the great Raymond Reddington couldn't come back from the dead.

A desperate sob rose in Liz's throat as the feelings she had tried to choke down rose full force. It was too much, she couldn't handle them…

Suddenly she heard her ringtone. This time she was certain she wasn't imagining it. She turned off the shower and leaped out, narrowly avoiding slipping on the tiled floor. She picked up the phone with hands that shook so badly that she could hardly open it.

She held it up to her ear, hardly daring to breathe.

"Lizzie." That word was all it took. Liz slumped against the wall, letting herself slide down it as relief coursed through her. For a second she just listened to the reassuring breathing of the man on the other side of the line, but the breathing was all wrong- it was short and pained.

"Red." Suddenly, for all the things she had imagined saying to him Liz found herself at a loss for words. "Where are you?"

She could hear him hesitate. He let out a short breath, "Right outside."

Liz was up before he even finished. She was halfway out the door when she realized what she was wearing, or rather wasn't wearing. She sprinted back up the stairs and threw on the first pair of clothes she saw. Then she sprinted back down and out the door.

She saw him immediately, a small figure standing in the street below, looking lost. She ran down to him. Once she got close she slowed, feeling her stomach churn.

He was illuminated only by the pale light of the street lamps, but it was enough. His face was colorless and pinched- not even Red could keep the pain out of his eyes. His eyes were dark and they regarded Liz with a flicker of something she didn't recognize.

"You look… Wet." He chuckled but the motion cost him too much and soon he had dissolved into a fit of coughing. Liz moved to his side and he hastily straightened up. "I'm fine."

"No you're not." He seemed a little surprised by the ferocity in Liz's voice, pulling back so he could see her better. "Have you even been to the hospital yet?"

Red's slightly guilty look answered her question. She sighed and said, "Come on." Red looked up the row of stairs leading up to her apartment. He didn't move.

"What is it?"

"I'm… I'm not certain I would be able to make it up there." Red cringed at the weakness in his voice, hardly daring to meet Liz's gaze. Suddenly he felt a warm presence by his side. Liz threw an arm around his back.

"I'll help you."

Somehow they managed to make it up the long set of stairs. By the end Red was panting, his eyes screwed shut with pain. Liz was holding up more than half his weight but she didn't complain once, nor did she slow. Finally they stopped. "Red."

Red cracked an eye open "Hmm?" He wouldn't be able to talk at the moment.

"We've made it to my apartment. I have to let go of you now." Red mumbled something and Liz leaned him against the wall. His eyes were closed again.

She fumbled for the keys and managed to get into the apartment. Only then did she realize what state she had left the apartment in- clothes lay in random discarded piles on the ground along with various boxes of takeout that were either untouched or had one bite taken out of them. How long had it been since she had eaten a proper meal?

Liz kicked a few of the offensive materials aside and went back outside. Already he looked noticeably less pale and was no longer panting. He even opened his eyes, looking at her with an almost normal look. She helped him inside. His sharp eyes took in everything but he didn't mention the mess.

They practically collapsed onto the couch and Red sat there for a moment, winded from the strain it had taken to get over there. When the world stopped spinning he sat up straighter and looked over to find the couch conspicuously empty. "Sweetheart?"

Liz reappeared in the small living room with a glass of cool water and a damp towel in her hand. "What do you want, aspirin or Tylenol?"

"Whatever you have more of," Red groaned. "I'm going to need all the painkillers I can get." Liz disappeared again and came back with an aspirin bottle filled with the tiny white pills. Red took a handful and swallowed them straight. Liz didn't comment, instead handing him the towel. "Clean yourself up, you look like hell."

Liz perched on the couch beside him, waiting patiently for him to run the towel over his face. It came back with a concerning mix of blood and dirt stains. Red put it back on the table and sat back, groaning at the way every bone in his body complained.

"Where did he hurt you?"

Red didn't answer at first, looking at her levelly. His dark eyes were once again unreadable, his face set and composed.

"Red, if you don't tell me I swear I will not hesitate to pin you down and strip search you until I find every last paper cut he left on you."

Red couldn't resist laughing, even though it made his chest ache. "As much as I'm sure we'd both enjoy that, I assure you sweetheart I have the situation under control."

Liz stood up and Red watched her, greatly intrigued. She sat down on the table in front of him, between his legs, staring straight into his eyes. Slowly she started to run her hands up both his arms, moving slowly and gently. Red hardly dared to breathe, too afraid to break the moment by saying anything.

Her hands finally met at his neck, right below the collar and Red jerked away, wincing. "That is not under control, Red. Let me see."

Red was breathing heavily but it wasn't because of the pain. He got his emotions back under control and turned back to Liz, giving her a cheeky smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "If you wanted me to take my shirt off you could have just said so, Lizzie."

She watched intently as he slowly unbuttoned, revealing a chest dark with dried blood. He paused after a few buttons and looked into Liz's eyes. "I promise it's not as bad as it looks…"

Liz pushed the shirt aside and gasped. Across his upper collar bone, only a few inches away from his neck, was a long, deep and angry gash. Dark, jagged stitches ran along the length of it. Liz stared at him, horrified. "Red, did you do this yourself?"

"I had a mirror." Red took in a shaky breath as Liz gently prodded it.

"Red…."

"Lizzie, it's fine. I've survived much worse."

"It's only inches away from your throat!"

"And those inches make all the difference." He gently guided Liz's hands away from his neck. "I'm okay, sweetheart, you can stop worrying about me."

Liz took a deep breath, her eyes suddenly very wet. Must be from the lack of sleep. She stood and grabbed the bloodstained rag. "I'll clean it off for you."

Red's eyes followed her until she disappeared from the room. He let out a deep sigh. Why did he always have to worry her so much, when really it was his job to worry about her.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: …At Your Mercy**

 **AN: Part two as promised! You cannot possibly understand how much your comments mean to me, thank you so much! I own nothing and hope you enjoy.**

"Where else did he hurt you?"

"Nowhere."

"Red, you promised you would never lie to me."

"Lizzie sweetheart, please, it's late we should just go to bed…"

Liz's hands were on his chest again and getting dangerously close to his back so Red finally gave in, pulling away from her. He continued unbuttoning his shirt, cursing the persistency of the woman in front of him. He knew how to treat wounds; he could take care of himself. Although he had to admit cleaning off his neck wound had been a good idea, it decreased the chance of an infection.

Still, Red didn't need anyone's help- he did just fine on his own. With occasional assistance from Dembe. But right now all he wanted to do was sleep, sleep so he didn't have to face the panicked, stressed eyes of the woman in front of him. She shouldn't have been that worried about him, shouldn't have cared about him.

He knew exactly when his second wound was revealed because Liz inhaled sharply. His hands fell to his sides and he looked up helplessly at her. She pulled his shirt aside once again and Red tried not to cringe about how vulnerable he was at the moment. He forced himself to relax- he could trust Liz, he knew that.

Gently she brought the damp cloth to his skin. The pain killers had set in, but the nerves still flared with pain and Red had to bite his lip to keep from crying out.

"How did this happen?" Liz asked as she dabbed at the dried blood sticking to the stitches, not missing the way Red had tensed up with pain.

Red regarded the crooked line of stitches curving up from his side, running almost to his belly button. Luckily it had been a shallow cut, any deeper and it would have caused organ damage. Any deeper and he'd be dead.

"Anslo Garrick… the man who took me, I tried to kill him once. He tried to return the favor." Red didn't continue, didn't want to relive those few instances of pure panic in that warehouse. Didn't want to relive the feeling of the knife cutting deeply into his neck, jerking out of the way just in time to keep it from severing his air pipe. The feeling of blood dripping down his chest, an impossible amount of blood as his neck screamed in agony.

Then Anslo was on him again, his crazed eyes glinting with laughter, his deformed face contorted into a gruesome smile. He slashed again and Red dodged. The large blur of glinting silver caught him in the side, slicing up. Red collapsed to his knees with a scream.

Anslo dove for him, the knife came within inches of his chest, but Red managed to lunge out of the way at the last second. He lost his balance and fell. Red was on top of him in seconds, his hands wrapped around his neck. He turned and a sickening snap filled the air. Then there was silence.

This time his attempt had succeeded.

Red forcefully pushed his way out of the memory, coming back to the world to find Liz perched quietly on the table, just watching him with bright blue eyes. He didn't know how long he had been gone, but his wound was now cleaned.

His pale green eyes met Liz's and for what felt like hours or maybe just a few seconds they stared at each other. Finally Liz stood. "You're taking the bed, I'll take the couch."

Red didn't have enough energy to protest. He let himself be heaved up and discarded into a soft, warm bed. The last thought he registered before he drifted off to sleep was the smell- his pillow smelled like Liz. He felt his racing heart calm for the first time in days and sunk into a deep, undisturbed sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Bad Ressler**

 **AN: Gracias por tus reviews! They make so incredibly happy. I own nothing and hope you enjoy!**

It had been two months. Two months since Red had been cleared of all injuries, two months since everything had gone back to normal. And already the bastard had gotten himself shot again.

Liz was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles hurt. Of course, no one had bothered to tell her that Red had gotten shot until he was already at the hospital. She swore loudly and honked at the traffic in front of her. She did not have time for this; she would not let that asshole fucking die on her before she yelled at him for how much of an idiot he had been for rushing into that situation without backup. Then, if he didn't apologize to her standards, she would kill the bastard herself.

Liz finally snapped. She turned on her sirens and drove forwards, hardly paying attention to the cars around her. If they wanted to move, great. If not she was going to go through them.

Liz was still cursing up a storm when she pulled up to the hospital, going 60 in a 25 mph zone. Oops. She parked, taking up at least three parking spots and jumped out.

Ignoring the stares, she ran into the hospital, straight up to the clerk. That's where Ressler found her, screaming incoherently at the manager who looked a little panicked. "Keen, Keen calm down!"

Liz wheeled around to look at him, looking slightly feral. "Reddington is fine. The bullet hardly clipped him."

Instantly she relaxed. "What happened? Where is he?"

"I'm sure he'll tell you himself what happened. He's been complaining nonstop since we got here. He's through there."

Liz hurried through the door Ressler had pointed to. From there, all she needed to do was follow his loud voice down the hallway.

"And I promise you, I will be seeking just compensation for the grievous harm, both psychological and physical, I have suffered…. Lizzie!"

Liz walked into the blaring white of the hospital room. Red sat swinging his legs on the examination table. His vest was discarded on a chair and the sleeve of his shirt had been rolled up, revealing a large white bandage slightly bloodstained. Across from him stood an agent in a CIA vest that was practically cowering under Red's yelling. He seemed extremely grateful for Red's shift in focus and turned to look at her.

"Jimmy! Did I say you could look at my partner?"

Jimmy turned a shade of purple. "No sir, I'm so sorry sir."

"Go in the corner and stare at the wall."

"Yes sir." Agent "Jimmy" scurried over to the wall and practically pressed against it, looking like he wanted nothing more than to disappear.

"Donald told him I was an FBI special agent working directly for the president," Red whispered to Liz with a grin. "He now takes all my orders."

Liz rolled her eyes. "What the hell happened?"

Red seemed to sense the undercurrents of anger and looked slightly concerned and confused. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes something is wrong! You nearly got yourself killed again with another one of your insane plans!"

Jim had turned to gape at Liz, genuinely surprised that the president's special agent hadn't assassinated her yet. "Eyes back on the corner, Jim!"

Red turned back to the enraged woman before him. "Lizzie, sweetheart, you really must calm down. This one wasn't even my fault..."

"Then whose fault was it? I swear to god Red, if you make up another plan to get yourself killed I will find a way to lock you in the box permanently and…"

"It was my fault!" Jim cut her off, looking like he was about to burst into tears. "I'm so sorry, I was told there was going to be an armed terrorist meeting with my man, and I didn't realize he was secret services."

Liz had turned her blazing eyes on Jim and the poor agent wished he had kept his mouth shut. He had thought the mysterious secret agent man had been scary but it was nothing compared to the mysterious secret agent man's partner.

Red chuckled, getting Liz's anger driven back at him. "Jimmy, I really think it's time for you to go. She can be a bit unpredictable when she's angry. I would know." He winked at Liz and pantomimed someone driving a pen into his neck.

Jimmy did what any sane man would do- he turned and fled, not stopping until he was safely locked in his car in the parking lot. He sincerely hoped that the mysterious secret agent man- and more importantly his partner- did not hold grudges.

"Explain," Liz bit out, looking like she wanted to murder Red.

"Donald had gotten a tip about one of the blacklisters. He couldn't get a hold of you…" Red paused and Liz blushed a little. She had been taking a bubble bath and left her phone downstairs. It was a Sunday, she deserved some time off! "…so he finally got desperate enough to call me. I confirmed the lead and we went to confront the witnesses."

"Turns out the whole thing was setup by the CIA. I posed as a terrorist, not knowing this, and young agent Jimmy got a little trigger happy while arresting me. Poor kid was aiming for my chest, hit my arm instead. Hardly grazed me really."

Red studied the bandage on his arm and experimentally flexed. "Doesn't even hurt," he said brightly.

Liz studied the arm. Just below the bandage she could make out a thick pale pink line a few inches in length. "What's that?" Red looked back down at his arm as if he had forgotten about the scar.

His smile lit up his face. "That was a gift from our dear friend Donald. He caught up to me in Paris one day. I was toying with the kid, not really expecting him to take the shot. He did."

Liz looked pissed. For a second Red thought she was going to start yelling at him again, but instead she whipped out of the room. He could just make out her yelling "Ressler, get over here," as she walked to the waiting room. He grinned.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Summers to Come**

 **AN: As always, your comments made me so unbelievably happy! Updating might slow down for a little while just because school, but the chapters will never be more than 3 days a part. Thanks for reading, I own nothing.**

Liz had never liked plane rides. The thought of being trapped in a metal box with a hundred strangers thousands of feet in the air had just never appealed to her. Not to mention the chance that the plane would crash and they would all meet a fiery doom on the ground far below.

Being trapped with only one person hardly helped this, even if it was the one person she trusted her life with. She sat stiffly in the leather seat, her hands gripping the armchair so tightly they had gone white. She really did not like flying.

Red plopped down beside her, as dressed up as normal in his three piece suit and fedora. Why the hell did he have to look so composed all the time? This was a 12 hour plane ride, it hardly required formal wear. This thought was interrupted by a string of colorful curses in her head as the plane started to move.

As it picked up speed down the runway Liz felt like she wanted to throw up. She ignored the feeling of those calm green eyes, probably taking in and analyzing every bit of her discomfort. She hated how well he could read her sometimes.

Liz finally gave up on trying to look calm and squeezed her eyes shut just as the wheels lifted of the ground. She didn't open them again until they had steadied out a few minutes later. She forced herself to relax and opened her eyes to find Red still staring at her.

"What?" It was supposed to come out as a snap, but it came out sounding more tired than anything. Fuck.

Red didn't say anything, just regarded her with expressionless eyes. Liz could feel a story coming.

Sure enough, his baritone voice soon filled the plane. "I had my first serious girlfriend in the summer of 1991, I was 19. Her name was Claire Henderson. She was the daughter of a wealthy man who would never have approved of us, but that just made it all the more exciting in her eyes."

"That summer was one of the best of my life… the things we did by her pool in New Jersey…" Red chuckled, chewing on his tongue. Liz had all but forgotten about where she was, her mind busy imagining exactly what had occurred by that pool in New Jersey… except they weren't happening to Claire Henderson in her mind.

"Anyway, we dated for two long months. Poor thing had never experienced a true relationship before; thought we were soul mates. That fall I started at the Naval Academy. I tried to break up with her lightly, explaining to her that I wouldn't be able to see her for nearly four years."

"She didn't take it very well. She stabbed me with a fork at dinner." He held out his right hand for Liz, which had three distinct, tiny circular scars. "I don't know what it is about me and attractive woman with sharp objects," Red said, his intense gaze mesmerizing Liz.

"Although I have to say, it was worth it in the end."


End file.
